Hugo's World

As part of my healing process and my everyday meditation I am allowing myself to feel compassion for the pain of others. Our society doesn’t want to see the real face of cities where homeless people live begging for change and attention.

I crossed the common border line few weeks ago when I decided to talk to Randy and spoke with him as an old friend sharing my struggles post separation and scam and he shared his story of how he became homeless which made me feel compassion for another human being and see the story of a pain that typically we don’t wanna listen.

Randy is a unique individual with pros and cons like any of us but most of us are lucky to have a roof to lay down every night when we are tired. This individual chose the streets due to the circumstances of his experience post separation of his last partner and his everyday living struggles.

Next time when we see a homeless around us it may be best to ask ourselves why is the reason that this person became a homeless, perhaps a big loss, sexual abuse, etc.

At the end I believe that we have the answer within us and see ourselves as part of only one human community that despite religion, ethnic background, we are connected with each other and we can feel the pain of others and perhaps next time when we see a homeless we can share some food or just say hi. These individuals live in the streets for a reason, they are in a deeper hole of struggles than us and we should feel compassion and kindness and not trying to cover the sun with one finger and think that they don’t exist.

Feeling the reason of being unique in our planet earth and the Milky Way is essential for our purpose in life. Despite the demons in our heads, setbacks and challenging days, we are connected with other creatures, we can feel the pain of a homeless, the happiness of a child running after a ball, the silliness of a happy dog moving his/her tale, the smell of beautiful flowers.

The gift of a day is a chance that many times we don’t value enough. If we are in this world at this time is for a reason, perhaps to inspire, share knowledge, listen carefully to people and creatures in need. Maybe we cannot change the entire world but we have the power to inspire someone and change an entire world.

Facing the separation of my ex partner last year and the crypto scam losing $80k earlier this year made me realize that a healing process takes time and mental health is a key component to face these challenges in my life. As part of my experience, I decided to share my story publicly and advocate for mental health awareness, something that I did not have after my separation.

I am looking forward to speak up and be the voice of others who feel shame and embarrassment to show their stories. Unfortunately there are many cases unreported and many people decide to deal silently falling into depression or even suicides.

I chose to heal and support others as part of my journey and hopefully some of these scam victims are able to move forward, following their dreams despite losing confidence and trust after being scammed. We don’t need to allow these bad experiences to determine our future, we are the ones to heal and show with love for ourselves and the community that the sky is the limit and nothing will stop it.

Being fully aware of what I do everyday is something that I have been practicing since I started traditional meditation few months ago after more than 10 years. Sending good vibes and wishes to my least favourite people is probably the best way to heal from the pain of having bad feelings for someone.

In my case, my crypto scammer caused me lots of headaches to work on but gave me valuable lessons learned such as going back to my faith, family and real friends and being able to share my story for prevention and advocacy of mental health support when we are in our weakest stage.

The silver lining lesson of my everyday dealings post separation and crypto scam are finding my own self with ups and downs understanding that I am the most important in my life and that the only to help others is to start from me.

A unique experience has been lately practicing traditional meditation after 14 years. During my everyday meditation session I am able to feel my energy of the breathing and think about the favourite and least favourite people in my life and wish them love and happiness.

My own temple has been unique discovery after many years of living without thinking much about me.

Here in Toronto is a national day and I believe this is a day to feel part of the community and think about tools to improve my well being post separation and crypto scam.

It is awesome to feel how my personal struggles can push me to feel stronger and support others.

I can’t deny that there are days that are more difficult to move forward but the adjustment process is daily.

I have been more grounded for the past few weeks after opening my story to public eyes showing my choice to advocate for mental support during difficult episodes of life such as separation in my case to avoid being scammed by some individuals in different ways via romance scams, business opportunities, etc.

I am taking this personal fight as part of my healing process and support of the ones who feel embarrassed for being a victim.

Also, I have been finding along the way either after my visits to my local church or practicing tibetan meditation is that I am responsible to move forward, be optimistic of the future and let go of the past one day at a time.

As part of my daily routine of every morning I was on my way to pick up my dog for a walk but suddenly I saw Randy (my homeless friend) smiling and excited to start a job in a tattoo place today according to him.

After some rain here in Toronto and having a pleasant weather, today was a good working day addressing few technical items or at least trying.

Late in the afternoon I was looking for Randy at his tent but he wasn’t there so perhaps the new job was keeping him busy so I felt happy crossing my fingers.

At the end, our everyday lives are similar that the flow of a river sometimes with steady flow but sometimes the flow is turbulent and we have to find tools to cope moving forward despite the challenges life gives us like separation, scams, losing a job, etc.

I had a very good conversation with Randy today. I shared with him my personal journey post separation and how I believe in the long term despite few downs like the crypto scam.

Randy gave me details of his own demons, having a very challenging time growing up with his father then getting into drugs and how they helped him coping with his inner pain.

We shared our music tastes, some 90’s, classic rock and we were able to transport ourselves to a short period of happiness while he played my guitar and I was singing few songs.

At the end of this great chat I realized that I became wiser listening carefully to my new friend sharing his personal story with me and while he was playing the guitar I noticed a big smile on this fellow’s face which made me feel great as a person.

Randy’s tent shows with honesty the internal fight of an individual against his own demons, the back and forth of the every day battles of a homeless who is part of the society and one that we should not ignore and have compassion with individuals like him.

Every one of us has their own tent that we don’t want to leave for fear and judgment.

The tent inside of me has some tough times specially post separation and the crypto scam that impacted me dramatically but I am learning to take a positive and very valuable lesson from it which was going back to basics like my faith, closer to my family and finding outstanding support from my work colleagues, friends and family.

At the end, I was able to find the silver lining lesson from the scam and I chose to leave the tent with my old demons that I don’t need them anymore to move forward healing one day at a time.

I was looking for Randy everywhere since last Saturday around his little tent, different gas stations not far, etc.

I wanted to share some food with my new friend that I prepared but I couldn’t find him. At the end I dropped few cans of tuna and fruit inside his tent.

Finally this morning during my regular dog walk i finally saw him inside his tent and he told me that he met one his sons for the first time and the experience didn’t go well at all. My dear friend’s eyes showed me the honesty a deep internal pain and because he may be a homeless typically ignored by people but he is in part our society and I believe we need to care, he may be in a deeper hole than many of us but I decided to show compassion for this person which motivates me to pursue my goals despite challenges and struggles I am dealing with right now.

I realize that Randy was in a very deep hole and in a much more complicated come back than mine post crypto scam trying to organize my life, prioritizing my mental health and looking for positive ways to cope and heal step by step.